I recently finished a book about an audio program that will be on sale soon. Someone noticed that it is now listed on Amazon and sent me the address to which the previous link will take you. Seeing my writing in print has long since lost its initial and understandable thrill, but I still thought it would be fun to see the page for my book. Perhaps Amazon mentioned that I'm a Penn Jillette lookalike or spelled my name wrong.

I found neither of those, but there is a really cool section of the page for a book called Product Details. Mine is by and large vanilla, but includes one really fascinating statistic. The book can be pre-ordered so though it's not quite printed yet, it actually has sold some copies. Thus, Amazon tells me that my current Amazon.com sales rank is 654,622. It just seems so useless, and kind of insulting. When British car magazines review some junky four cylindar mini-van, they do nice things like not quote the 0-60 time. Some get cheeky and instead of listing a time write "0-60 = Yes." Coudldn't Amazon do that instead? Amazon.com sales rank = Low. Amazon.com sales rank = unmeasureable.

Still, I did a little poking around and found some fun stuff. Amazon.com sales rank Numero Uno goes to Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix. William S. Burroughs' Naked Lunch is ranked 5,768, which isn't bad since nobody knows what the hell it's about. Strangely enough, the page also lists Independence, Missouri for the Popular In: category. Makes me wonder a bit about Missouri, to be honest. Marin Amis fares not so well, London Fields merits only 75,501 and The Information clicks in next door at 72,350. Surprisingly, Seutonius and his Lives of the Ceasars languish at 221,979, and that's a book with more sex, violence, and depravity than a dozen seasons of NY Undercover combined. The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage, presumably in great use at the newspaper known for All the News that Hasn't Been Fact Checked, is in thin air indeed at 6,348. As surprising to me as the low ranking of Seutonius is the ranking of Favre: For the Record, the ghost written autobiography of Vicodin addiction, touchdown passes, alligator feeding, bar fights, and Super Bowls by Brett Favre. At 289,204 I might just pass my hero Brett. I actually read this book, by the way, on a flight from La Guardia to Memphis. It's amazing what a person will buy on the way to board an airplane.